It has been five years since my partner and father of my son passed away. Time has moved on, but the gap he left remains. These years have been tough, trying to look okay for others, especially during family times like Christmas. It's hard because everything reminds me of him being gone.
I've been through a whirlwind of feelings and seen myself change in many ways throughout the five stages of grief. Crying has been a big part of dealing with my loss. Some people think there's a right time to stop being sad, but for me, crying is how I cope.
I learned that it's okay to cry, even if others might not understand. It shows how much we loved and still love those we've lost. This journey has taught me that healing takes time and it's alright to let out the pain through tears.
The Healing Power of Tears in Grief
Crying serves as a vital outlet for the overwhelming grief we experience. It’s a physical manifestation of the depth of our loss and an important step toward healing. Shedding tears is not just a release but a therapeutic process. It helps to cleanse the soul and relieve the heartache that seems to have no end.
How Long Does Grief Last?
One of the greatest misconceptions surrounding loss is that grief has an expiry date. Grief is an immensely personal journey with no set timeline. Tears can flow just as freely years after a loss as they did in the moments following it. This endless nature of grief shows us once again the deep impact of our loved ones on our lives – it’s proof of the lasting bond that death cannot break.
Society and Grief: Why Your Tears Matter
Society often imposes a silent expectation to quickly "move on" from grief, to stop the flow of tears, and to hide our sorrow.
But embracing your grief and allowing yourself the freedom to cry is not only okay, it’s necessary. Loving someone means carrying a part of them with you forever, and tears are a powerful acknowledgement of that everlasting love.
What Helps with Grief? 6 Essential Strategies for Healing
Let me introduce you to the six strategies that have helped me the most throughout the stages of grief recovery. These strategies are less about how to stop crying and more about how to live with a loss and how to overcome grief:
1. Accept Your Emotions
Understanding and accepting your grief and the resulting tears is essential. It's natural to experience a wide range of emotions, from profound sadness to unexpected anger. Recognizing these feelings as valid and necessary components of your journey is the first step toward healing.
2. Therapy for Grief – Find the Right Support
Reaching out for professional support through therapy or grief counselling can provide a safe space to explore your emotions deeply. Professionals can offer coping strategies and perspectives that help you move through your grief more effectively.
3. Support Groups for Grief – You Are Not Alone
Connecting with others who are also grieving can offer comfort and understanding. Support groups, both in person and online, provide a sense of belonging and a reminder that you are not alone in your feelings. Sharing your story and listening to others can be incredibly healing.
4. How to Process Grief through Creative Outlets and Physical Exercise
Creative activities like art therapy or physical exercise can significantly help with grief processing. This could be painting your emotions, writing about your loss, or finding solace in the rhythm of physical movement (even just a walk or a bike ride). These outlets offer a way to express what might be too difficult to say out loud.
5. Colour Therapy for Grieving: A Unique Way to Heal
Colour therapy, or chromotherapy, as a form of art therapy for grief, is a unique way to navigate through grief. By exploring the emotions associated with different colours, you can discover new methods to express and process your feelings. Personally, this has been one of my favourite ways to process my grief over the past few years.
Chromotherapy can add a layer of understanding to your healing process. If you’re interested in exploring this further, my article on "How does Colour therapy help a broken heart?" provides insight into how colour therapy can specifically help those dealing with heartache and loss.
6. Time: The Subtle Healer
While time may not erase the pain of loss, it gradually allows us to find ways to carry our grief without it overshadowing every moment. Patience with yourself and your emotions during this period is key.
Your Journey is Valid
Grief is complex, and our journey is uniquely ours. The path to healing is not linear, nor does it adhere to a set timeline. I invite you to explore these strategies and find what resonates with you.
For those on their healing journey looking to connect on a deeper level, my upcoming book "My Journey through Grief" shares personal insights, feelings, and strategies that have helped me on my path.
I’ll share one of my poems with you here – it’s a reflection of the sorrow and eventual acceptance found in the process of grieving. This poem and others can be found in my book "My Journey through Grief".
In the depths of sorrow, tears cascade,
A river of anguish, my heart betrayed.
I can't stop crying, the pain runs deep,
How long will grief its hold on me keep?
Each teardrop shed, a story untold,
A testament to a love now cold.
The ache in my soul, a constant throb,
How long will this sorrow my spirit rob?
Days turn to weeks, weeks into years,
But the weight of grief never disappears.
Time may heal wounds, or so they say,
But how long will this ache inside me stay?
The seasons change as life moves on,
Yet the tears keep flowing like a mournful song.
Will there come a day when my heart finds peace?
Or will this pain forever refuse to cease?
Grief knows no timeline, no set duration,
Its grip on our souls defies explanation.
For some, it may fade, a distant memory,
While others find solace in tears that set free.
So I'll keep crying, as long as I must,
For in these tears, I find a sense of trust.
They cleanse my soul, release the pain,
And remind me that healing is not in vain.
How long grief can last, I cannot say,
But I'll keep crying, day after day.
For in these tears, I find strength anew,
And hope that one day, my heart will renew.
Additionally, my blog and Instagram account offer spaces for support and connection. You might also find solace in other articles, such as "The Healing Power of Forgiveness in the Face of Anger".
In sharing these parts of my journey – including the cathartic release found in tears – I hope to offer a hand to hold for anyone walking this path.
Remember, it's okay to cry, to feel deeply, and to seek out spaces and activities that facilitate your healing. Your grief, your tears, and your journey toward healing are valid. And in the depths of your sorrow, may you find a glimmer of hope and renewal.
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