From Denial to Acceptance: How to Cope with Every Stage of Grief

In the depths of sorrow, grief does reside,

A heavy burden that's hard to hide.

It creeps into our hearts so deep and wide,

Leaving us feel empty inside

Grief touches every life at some point. It is a shared yet deeply individual experience. Each person's path through it differs, yet this very journey connects us all. 

Today, I want to provide insights and strategies for those of you who are currently finding their way through the different stages of grief. I will share my own experiences and the lessons I've learned over the past few years. 

My Journey Through The 5 Stages of Grief Toward Healing

What Are The 5 Stages of Grief?

Grief, in its essence, is our heartfelt response to loss. It's the profound sense of yearning for what was, knowing it's a chapter that won't be revisited. This journey of emotions is unique to each person but was first explained by Elisabeth Kúbler-Ross in her book "On Death and Dying."

She outlined five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The journey through these stages isn't straightforward or the same for everyone; think of it more as a compass than a set of directions. 

My Experience with Grief

Five years back, the world as I knew it shifted dramatically with the loss of my partner. Suddenly, I found myself wearing the titles of both a widow and a single mother to our young son. Suddenly, grief came into my life.  I had to slowly learn how to cope with stages of grief. Here is my experience:

Stage 1: Shock and Denial

The moment I confronted loss, it struck with a force beyond anything I might have imagined. Grief is a change that can come so quickly and with such a strong force that it completely overwhelms you.

For countless months, I was caught in a haze of denial. It made it impossible to grasp the harsh truth of my partner’s absence. It was as if I was trapped in a relentless dream, desperately hoping to wake up. 

Getting through this phase meant accepting the full spectrum of my feelings, no matter the depth of their sting. I discovered how important it was to lean on the support of family and friends (the ones who offered understanding rather than judgment) and let their presence light my way through the gloomiest times.

Stage 2: Anger

When the initial shock started to fade, a wave of anger settled in its place. This wasn't just about explosive outbursts but more about a profound sense of frustration over the sheer injustice of the situation. 

I drove to remote countryside spots or along the shore, where the grandeur and peacefulness of the landscape seemed to absorb some of my anger and pain. I would shout out loud my sadness. I didn't want to suppress or ignore these feelings since they are a natural part of the healing process, and letting them out became part of my coping mechanisms. 

I would also take my dog for long walks, which became a way to gently steer my anger toward a state closer to acceptance.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Then came the bargaining phase. It was filled with endless "what ifs" and "if onlys" that echoed in my mind. This period was defined by an urgent search for answers, a wish to turn back time and change the inevitable. 

I found strength in treating myself kindly. I started to understand that grief wasn't an issue to be fixed but a journey to be walked through.

Stage 4: Depression

Depression was perhaps the most challenging stage. It was a period of profound sadness and isolation. It seemed like the heaviness of my grief would never go away. 

In these moments, I found solace in painting and drawing. I let creativity act as my therapy. I talk about this more in another one of my articles called "How does Colour Therapy help a broken heart?".

Reaching out for professional support and connecting with people who had walked a similar path became important steps in finding my way through the fog.

Using simple breathing exercises anytime has been my main strategy. Doing daily activities also helped me stop overthinking.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Moving toward acceptance was a slow journey, made up of tiny, barely noticeable steps rather than a sudden revelation. I feel that now, five years later, I have finally reached this stage.

For me, acceptance has never been about forgetting the depth of love and loss. It's more about learning to live with this new reality. 

It’s about keeping the memories and love alive while also giving myself permission to step forward and adapt to life's changed landscape with a sense of strength and grace.

The Role of Time and Therapy in Healing

On my healing path, time and therapy have been two important factors. Time hasn't wiped away my loss but has made it easier to bear, while therapy has provided a space to process and accept my grief as part of the healing journey.

Accepting loss involves seeing how our loved ones forever influence our lives and finding new joy despite the shadow of grief. I share my story, hoping it helps you find your way to hope and renewal step by step.

Towards Healing and Connection

Grief is a deeply individual experience. Every emotion that you experience is a valid part of this journey. 

Reflecting on this, I've found relief and comfort in expressing these emotions through poetry. For those on their healing journeys looking to connect on a deeper level, my upcoming book "My Journey through Grief" shares personal insights, feelings, and strategies that have helped me on my path. 

I’ll share a fragment of my poems with you here – it reflects the sorrow and eventual acceptance in the grieving process.

Grief, though painful, can also be a guide,

To heal our hearts and, in time, provide,

A newfound strength, a love that won't subside,

It is a bittersweet journey where healing resides.

For more insights and connections, follow my journey on my blog and join me on Instagram. 

For those interested in exploring this subject deeper, keep an eye out for my upcoming book of poetry, which explores these topics further through poetry. 

In the meantime, you may find comfort and guidance in other blog articles on my website, such as "I can't stop crying. How long can grief last?" and How I Transformed My Anger into Healing During the Grief Process (And How You Can Too!).

Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate the stages of grief and ultimately find your path toward acceptance and healing.