Grief stands prominently as an insurmountable mountain in the vast landscape of emotions. Yet, as time progresses, we navigate the treacherous terrains of loss. Surviving the first year of grief since a loved one’s passing is a monumental achievement, a testament to the strength and resilience residing within us. But as we stand at this crossroads, plagued by the haunting question, “And now what?” a new chapter beckons us to explore.
First, you have done so well getting here. My first year of grief since losing Paul was a blur. I am honestly unsure how I managed to get there, but I did. I remember asking myself then, "And now what?"
I was so lost. I can only say that your friends will guide you. Today, I know this is what they did. I wrote a poem about that moment, about beautiful people who scooped me in a moment of dark grief, and they allowed me to be sad.
„PEOPLE WILL GUIDE YOU
Through the trials of life, when hope starts to fade.
There will be souls who won’t let you be swayed.
They’ll hold you up when your strength is all gone,
Guiding you forward, helping you carry on.
With each heavy step, they’ll walk by your side,
Offering ease, as your tears they’ll abide.
They’ll listen and give comfort without a demand,
For in the presence of grief, they’ll truly understand.
In the darkest of nights, when you can’t find the way,
There will be voices that won’t let you stray.
They’ll whisper encouragement like a gentle breeze,
Reminding you that healing comes with ease.
So remember, dear one, when grief weighs you down,
Some people will carry you without a frown.
Lean on their love, and let their kindness be your guide,
For in times of sorrow, they’ll be right by your side.
”
I am forever grateful for that connection. This poem and others are part of my book My Journey Through Grief.
Dealing with grief is like sailing through turbulent waters, where waves of sadness relentlessly batter the core of our being. The lingering question echoes within us - I would never speak to you gain. I would never see you. Would I feel better? Would I ever feel good again? Feeling overwhelmed and lost in a sea of memories and longing is natural in this tempest of emotions. Sleepless nights, wanders days, questioning life constantly, asking yourself - "Why did This Happen to Me?
While the pain of loss may never fully diminish, there are ways to honour the memories of our loved ones while embarking on a journey of healing. Grief is not a linear path; it ebbs and flows like the tides, sometimes calm and turbulent. Amidst the chaos, we find moments of solace, gentle reminders that light can pierce even the darkest clouds.
I immersed myself in hobbies like drawing, painting, breathing exercises, and walking. I derive peace from engaging in these activities. Somehow, when I explore these hobbies, my mind finds rest. It has been five years since Paul's passing. During this time, I collected pebbles from every place we visited. A few days ago, I assigned significance to each pebble to commemorate each year since you left us.
“I miss him all the time.” This simple yet profound declaration encapsulates the essence of loss. The echoes of laughter, the warmth of companionship, and the silent conversations we yearn to have once more form the tapestry of memories we cherish dearly. In this symphony of remembrance, find solace in the beauty of what once was and the legacy that endures.
Healing is a journey, not a destination. As we traverse through the valleys of grief, let us not forget to tend to the garden of our well-being. Seek comfort in the embrace of loved ones, find solace in shared stories, and allow yourself the grace to mourn and rejoice in equal measure. Remember, healing is not about forgetting but embracing the memories with a gentler heart.
In the depths of sorrow, we discover the depths of our resilience. We are stronger than we think, capable of weathering even the fiercest emotional tempests. Though the journey ahead may be fraught with challenges, know that with each step, you are weaving a tapestry of resilience and hope - a testament to your enduring spirit.
“What can I do to make me feel better?” echoes through the corridors of grief, seeking an elusive answer. Remember, healing is a personal journey unique to each individual. As you navigate through the labyrinth of emotions, remember to be kind to yourself, to seek help when needed, and to embrace the beauty of healing at your own pace. Remember to connect with others.
As the sun sets on another day, remember you are not alone in this journey. We walk hand in hand, united by the threads of love and remembrance that bind us. Take each day as it comes, honour the past, cherish the present, and embrace the hope that shines brightly on the horizon.
To those navigating the shadows of loss, remember—you are not alone. Together, we embrace the healing journey, one step at a time.
For more insights and connections, follow my journey on my blog and join me on Instagram.
In the meantime, you may find comfort and guidance in other blog articles on my website, such as "I can't stop crying. How long can grief last?" and How I Transformed My Anger into Healing During the Grief Process (And How You Can Too!).
Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate the stages of grief and ultimately find your path toward acceptance and healing.
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